I woke up this morning feeling better then I did yesterday. Yesterday, I had a nose full of snot and a cloudy brain. Today, I was a woman ready to move forward. This Saturday I am running my first 5K, on the biggest drinking day of the year. The St Paddy’s Day Dash happens to start in my hood, by Seattle Center. After a painful 6 months or so, I had been trying to run and work at running. I didn’t feel like I was accountable to anything, least of all myself. I signed up for the race and immediately felt better.

I am someone who does not choose working out over eating or drinking. Or sleeping. Or anything for that matter. It’s been… interesting. Fighting tooth and nail, I am at a point where I am ready to do the work for the big pay off. The Paddy’s Dash is just the beginning. I am officially registered for the Seattle Rock N Roll half marathon. Shit, I totally registered for a half marathon.

Tonight’s run is a great example of how truly confusing this whole thing is to me. I am finally able to run 5 miles straight. After 6-8 months, off and on running. Tonight I managed 4. Any beginner would feel great about even stepping on the treadmill. I cooled down, wiped off my machine and went looking for someone to punch. Huh?

Running is helping me work through a lot of emotions and meat product. Apparently, I don’t run long enough to work through all of it at once. I walked home through the nasty slush and felt ashamed. Why couldn’t I run further? Why am I so upset? What the fuck is my problem? I feel like a crazy person. FINE, crazier person.

Coincidentally, running and eating vegetarian have been two new things I have successfully been unsuccessful at. But tonight, I ate my salad grumpy while planning tomorrow’s workout. Slow like a slug, I am getting there.

Today I ran 4.35miles in 50:06min. No meat today. I did eat an extremely big handful of choco chips.

On my mind: The Galloway Method-Friend or Foe? Will I still feel good about all of this working out and eating right if I don’t start losing some serious weight? I dress like a slob at the gym. Is it hurting my self-esteem? I am going on some holidays soon. I want to work out while on these trips. Wishful thinking?

So we are on a trivia team.  That’s right, a Nerd Fest that happens to be in an Irish bar.  There is a point to this, other then telling you how genius I am.  It’s about finding different ways to get your drink on and not feeling like a bar hoochie.  I am usually fine with my 11 am Saturday cocktails, but it has really been taking it’s toll on my sensitive skin.  I’m kidding, I have been getting bored with it.  We have lived in Seattle over a year now and we have great friends here.  Well most of you are great…  The need to multi-task and have a few cockatoos has been really appealing.  We have a very stressful trivia night on Wednesday.  Super fun BINGO on Sundays.  Someone of my competitive nature should not be allowed to compete more then once a week.  Especially if you can win PBR socks.  PBR knee high socks!!

I will always pledge my allegiance to the bar stool, but for now, cheating with some good ole fashioned shit talk seems to be doing me just fine.  And besides, no one we know ever wants to go bowling.  I am the worst bowler and even I think it’s fun.

Tonight we are claiming our 4 week tournament victory.  Or I hope so anyway.  I will be back to gloat.

I am not going to lie, eating better has not helped my mood. Stressing about meals. hoping they aren’t too boring. By boring, I mean filled with at least 12 ingredients and 2 hours cooking time. I am a sadist and apparently I cannot do anything the easy way. In my last post, I talked about how much the book Eating Animals changed my outlook on food. Outlook is still changed, but now there is guilt. About everything. Fear not, it is not constantly, it just pops in every once in a while. We live in a society that affords us the luxury of making choices about what we put in our bodies. Yet, it is hard to make that decision. Maybe it is economic, organic always comes with a heftier price tag. Convenience is a nasty one as well. Sometimes you just don’t have any time. I have a friend, who I will not name, that is so busy there are undiscovered strains of bacteria growing in her fridge. She has her heart in the right place, but if you aren’t home, how the hell are you supposed to cook all of this expensive organic mess?

Since I read that damn book, we have been trying to eat at least half of our meals vegetarian. We aren’t going gluten free, Jesus one thing at a time! We feel better, C comments on a regular basis how much better he feels. I guess I see what he is saying. Although, nothing feels better to me then being weighed down by pork. The food we are eating IS better, the minute you eliminate meat, the calories come down. I have some tips and recipes on the way. We are also ordering our fruit and veg online. We just signed up for New Roots. It’s a local delivery service that brings you a bin of randomness once every two weeks. (Or every week if you are a rabbit) I am kind of excited to try things I have never cooked with. I also like getting presents, especially if it is food. So what if I am paying for the present! I won’t know what’s in there!

Needless to say, just read the book.  It is up to you to have your own reaction.  Maybe only chronic over reactors like myself woudl feel implied to change.  I will say, regardless of any inconvenience changing our eating habits has had, it does feel good to be sticking it to the man.  Take that Tyson!  In yo face Smithfield!  You are only invited into my fridge 50% of the time.  Mindless shit talking is over.

I have been reading an eye opening book, Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.  It has been keeping me up at night.  Seriously, I cannot stop thinking about this book.  Foer himself is a veggie eater, but he isn’t trying to convince you that eating meat is wrong, he just makes you feel like a heartless asshole.  The book is full of facts about the factory farming and its impact on our health and our planet.  It has been changing my life these past few days.  I can’t read it in one sitting, I feel ashamed.  Now I am not a book critic or even a very good book reader.  This book is making me feel differently about food then I ever did before. 

C and I are major meat eaters, it is not a complete meal if I have not eaten some form of animal.  I have been known to pick out entrees because of their meat to whatever side they are giving me ratio.  So reading this paperback has been hard on me.  Because I don’t know where to draw the line.  Foer gathers perspective from poultry farmers to PETA members to vegetarian meat suppliers.  I am eating pork sausage while I type this because I don’t know what is going on in my brain and I am feeling a sense of hoarding/panic.  I ate a salad before this, so shut up.  I don’t think, and pardon the pun, I could give up the meat cold turkey.  I am shaking my head because that sounded so cheesy.  I know for a fact C had teryaki for lunch.

So do we find a farmer that will raise animals and slaughter them in the nicest way possible?  Or is the allure of $5 whole chicken too great?  I will end up knawing on C’s ankle if we try to go vegetarian to soon, I need to be weaned.  (A-yo!  Another farming reference!)  Read this book, borrow it from me.  Get it from the library.  Learn anything you can about the impact that factory farming has on disease and pollution.  I think animal rights activists turn some people off because they seem to value animal life higher then human life.  Listen, when you are an organization that threatens the family members of a chef that cooks goose liver, you are an asshole.  Yes, animals are suffering and it is cruel.  Good on you to be a voice for them.  But another side is the impact it has on our own health.  The factory farms that are so deep in pig shit, they are polluting wherever and whenever they can.  Why not?  They have the money to pay a silly fine.  Strains of virus that are bred in the cramped pens of factory farmed animals.

I’m not sure where our stance is on any of this, maybe I will lose interest in a few weeks.  We will go back to eating anything we want.  It’s not just about animal cruelty.  Not just about disease control.  The ridiculous amount of pollution and carbon emissions.  And the list can actually go on and on.But I wanted to put it out there, just in case I am a stronger and better person then I think I am.  This way C and I can look back and remember when we took a stand for something that was really a bunch of somethings that saved our lives.

I’m sure I will change my mind on this a million times in the next few days.  I just needed to get this out there.  Thanks for writing this book Mr. Foer.  To be continued…  

p.s.  I get it if this seems like a bunch of nonsense.  But please forward this to anyone you think might wanna know more.  I will be back with more info.  The title link will direct you to a website with excerpts or just visit the website http://eatinganimals.com/

I haven’t posted in a week or so.  That is my own laziness/preoccupation.  I did want to post about something Beau and I were yammering about.  We go out, a whole lot, and sometimes we feel guilty about the amount we spend.  We decided to start The Penny Project.  Every time we splurge, we will put a penny or two in a jar.  At the end of every month, we’ll count the pennies and grab the checkbook.  Each penny will represent a dollar we will pledge to a charity or food bank. 

I know there are millions of people who went out and paid for expensive tasting menus tonight while millions of others went hungry.  I am not knocking anyone who went and treated themselves to a beautiful meal.  It just made me think about what we personally feel is important to spend money on.  We are pretty indulgent.  I think Beau and I are ready to try and give something back.  I mean, I am going to be posting about the guacamole stadium I made for Super Bowl.  Like I really needed to make a STADIUM out of Haas avocados.  That stadium is getting its own penny for the jar.

Happy Valentines to everyone out there.  Thankfully, love is one of those wonderful things that doesn’t need a special day to be shared and embraced.   Though the pink cookies are quite cheerful.

No, I am not talking about the band.  Something has been on my mind for a few days.  Namely, when am I going to fail at this whole being healthier thing?  I am sore from my workout yesterday, God knows why, it was a breeze when I did it.  I am menu planning healthier options for meals for Beau and I, with some excitement.  I do love to cook, meat product or not.  So there should be things to keep me occupied instead of plotting my downfall.  But I feel like maybe I already am. 

Every weekend it seems there is something going on, something to celebrate.  I know I love a party, but it feels like I can’t be that girl that slams shots till 2 am.  Not if I expect to change anything.  I can’t eat 1500 calories a day just so I can drink another 2000.  Maybe an exxageration, I’ve never counted the calories of my drinks for fear of fainting.  So I guess that leaves the sensible option.  Be a good girl.  Don’t overindulge with the fun shots or the need to stay out all night. 

Here is my question.  When did I decide that I NEEDED to be out all the time?  Why can’t I be at home with my wonderful man, who by the way hates when I go out during the week.  I am usually home a soggy mess, way past my bedtime.  At some point in my life I made the decision to be a bar rat.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t have anywhere else to go for so long.  Too many cities, not enough friends.  But my life is different now, so why hasn’t anything changed?  

I am supposed to have plans tonight.  So I am throwing down a mini challenge.  Have my fun, try not to be such a mess.  Since these are baby steps, try to be home before I feel the need to eat something fried.  Try anything different then what I have been doing.  Needless to say, I’m a little scared.  I know I can do it, trouble is, do I want to?

I won’t give you a play by play every time my lazy self goes to the gym.  But I did it for the first time in a bit and I felt okay.  In my brain I think I’m still my 20 yr old self who can eat and drink and never gain an ounce.  Alas, I have been pretending to be her for awhile, as some people who know me can attest.  Apparently the fried chicken diet I started when I moved to Seattle is making me a little rotund.  Listen, I am also the person who, up until 2 yrs ago, could buy denim at H&M kids department.  I thought I had more time to be old me.  The skinny jeans were the perfect amount of skinny.  Sigh…  Stop rolling your eyes, I am admiting it is time to be a grown up.  and I buy pants in the grown ladies department now.

I know doing the hard core diet won’t work for me, but seeing as how I inhale everything in my way, I am going to exercise a little restraint.  A LITTLE.  I am not a saint or a wizard.  One step at a time. 

Speaking of steps, you are going to find this hilarious!  I RAN to the Safeway.  Only one way, but I usually only run to the toilet.  Probably something to do with the eating regime I mentioned earlier.  So I am feeling quite proud of myself. 

No I will not publish how far the actual distance from my apartment to the Safeway is.

I am going to run a 5K!  So I am going to try and train for a 5K.  A great friend of mine recommended I do the Couch to 5K program.  Sounds about right, about the couch part anyway.  I LOVE lounging.  Just to be clear, Beau is doing this as well.  The same person who has already run a marathon.  I don’t care if he was 18! 

I’m sure I’ve ran a mile or two in my time, I’m just not certain if my 29 yr old, lazy self can do it.  But doesn’t mean I’m not going to give it my all.  I am hoping to do some things that I always hoped I would conquer one day.  Get ready for the bitch fest you are bound to hear.  The craziness starts tomorrow and I will be sure and chronicle every humiliating moment.  We already have a race on the calendar.  It’s a mere week after we finish the 9 week program.  Sigh… I just wanted to go on another juice fast to lose some extra pounds and detox.

Here is the thing, I’m glad I am back on the site and can write about this whole experience.  It’s not just Beau and I running and pushing one another.  I am basically taunting the entire web to heckle me if I wuss out.  I talk a big game and tend to get excited then fizzle out like a sad, sad sparkler from the Dollar Store. 

 I am expecting to be cooking healthier as well.  Snort.  This is going to be a mess.  In so many ways.  Keep your fingers crossed.  Tomorrow is DAY 1!  

Side note:  I was thinking of cutting back drinking, but I figured I am already shooting for the stars.  I can only handle the running at this juncture in time.

I feel good. It feels good to be back here and excited about the things happening around me. I know I’m a little different, but if I wasn’t after all this time not posting, I would be a little worried. Seattle, turns out, is an awesome place to live. So much so, I forgot to write anything about it. Just a quick post, saying hello to old and new friends. I’ve missed you. A lot of shit has happened!

I am a bad little blogger, but I can be better. As soon as things settle down a little bit, I have a laundry list of things I know I want to talk about. But right now, there is one thing I have on my mind. Change. Beau is selling his house and I am hoping that someone out there is dreaming about a huge house in our neighborhood. Every day I read online or the news tells me about the market improving or not, up and down, my brain is scrambled eggs. Now I live in said house with him and I am a team player and I have made it priority number one to get the casa staged and Pottery Barned. We live in 2000 sq ft with the minimum amount of furniture, needless to say I have been purchasing a lot of wall art and bullshit such as that. I am at Pier One at least 4 times a week. Home Depot is… I can’t believe how much I’ve been to that store.

When I say that it is crazy, tiling the laundry room and organizing each room is just the surface. This year has been about a lot of change, new president and the crumbling economy is making all of us think about a new direction. I am ready for change and moving and starting a new life together is just the start of that. I have been working on a book and the writing has been exciting and frustrating all at once. Spring is here, at least in my mind, and I wanted to convey that even if things are hectic right now, there is much to look forward to. Take the positive in your life and make it a springboard to bigger and better things. I have been letting stress make me it’s bitch and I’m no one’s bitch. I guess I needed to get that out. For those few that actually read this, there is good stuffs to come. I’m ready.