Death to Top Chef
Food Tube January 15th, 2009
image by Neeta Lind
Where the hell did my show go? I am an avid fan of Top Chef, but after the bullshit they aired last night it makes me wonder, why are the producers ruining the show?
I don’t give a shit if Hosea and Leah like one another. I don’t care if Stefan digs lesbians. Fabio and Stefan, albeit a very cute couple, do not make me tune in. Does this nonsense make the show fun? Yes. But when frivolous personal relationships start affecting who gets thrown off, it chaps my bottom.
I understand that Ariane messed up, she butchered the meat (pardon the pun) and couldn’t tie a roast for shit. At least she cooked something. If I had to choose between someone who messed up what they cooked versus someone who played googly eyes the whole time and then didn’t seem the give a shit for not cooking, my vote goes for the prior. It’s called Top Chef, not Top of Any Guy For Screen Time. Love the scenes for next week where Leah and Hosea finally hook up and completely negate why the hell they are in that house. Good job douchebags!! Oh yeah Hosea, nice “I love Padma” t shirt. Good to see you love every woman BUT your girlfriend. Double douche for that one, buddy.
Toby Young, you are walking a fine line with me. ”Full blown, unprotected sex”? Well you seem to have full blown diarrhea of the mouth. That’s how you talk about meat? Take a tantric class and leave that shit in the bedroom. Just because you are thinking it, doesn’t make it either witty or right. And having Padma stand up to you and you have to tattle on her to Tom, “Well didn’t you say Tom, that we had to judge their food from today…” She is the genital wart of this show and you are now on her level. How is that for unprotected?
I get that strong personalities make good tv, but what about the right ones? People who do their best and stay positive and true, regardless of the nonsense around them. Carla is someone whose food I would want to eat. Just listening to her and how she feels about everything she does and feel makes you want to root for her, her spunky quirk works for me. And Tom’s opinion is still the one that I hear, even though it is muffled by a sexually oppressed Brit and a no talent wannabe-a-chef. Yes, you Padma.
What could have been a really informative show on the connection between us and the food we eat became some form of crap I would see on MTV. I barely remember the dishes! Less yammering and more cooking. Shame on Bravo for taking what was a show about cooking and turning it into slutty bitches who cook, or don’t in this case.
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