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I am a bit of a piggy.  I am the girl that wakes up ravenous and makes some ridiculous non-breakfast meal, sits on the couch to turn on CSI Wherever and then proceeds to stuff said food into my face.  And I love it.  It tastes so good when it hits my lips!!  But I love myself as well.  It took me awhile to get to this place, but I care about my body.  You would never know by the amount of booze and cigs I suck down.  So when Beau told me about his juice fast I was intrigued.  I wanted to support him and I figured making dinner for myself while juicing his was not the way to go.  So I was on board although I had no clue what I was in for.  I figured this experience would bring me closer to my healthier, more wholesome self.

I am now on the last day of my prefast and I feel pretty great.  I have rekindles my romance with frozen peas.  The fruit and veg we juice always tastes pretty scrumptious.  I haven’t really posted too much, because I didn’t know how I felt about it or if I would run screaming for the nearest Fat Donald’s.  Now that I am in the trenches of juicedom, I feel kind of ashamed.  Ashamed for how I ate and how disconnected I felt from my food.  There are so many of us who love to cook and love the taste and spice and colours.  But I realize I had lost that loving feeling.  (cue Everly Brothers)  I had become a semi-foodie whore.  Of course I always want the food to taste good, but I was drifting to the dark side where Darth Vadar is a pretty presentation and Darth Maul is the latest foodie trend.  I am not an expert nor a professional chef, so what the fuck is my problem?  Why has my food become so serious and I along with it? 

I am tasting my food these past few days and the biggest change hasn’t been the amount of snot that has been dripping from my nose (which has been an obscene amount) or the weight I have already lost cause I’m an oinks, but how excited I am to jump start the team that cooks with me, my stomach and my heart.  Little did I know, but this juice fast is giving me the sort of clarity that will help me be a better cook, eater and all around cuddly person. 

I haven’t even started the hardcore part of the juice fast, but I feel confident.  I may feel completely different at the conclusion of JuiceFest 2009.  I know the physical benefits will be a big plus which is always a good thing, but I want to have learned something, anything and if it takes a bunch of juice so be it.  Bring it on!  When all this is said and done I am ready to get back in the kitchen, if she will still have me.

image by MyAngelG

I am bitch slapping Day 2 of Juice Fest.  Granted it is still pre-fast, but I haven’t started speaking in tongues or tackling people for their bagels. Yesterday ended in a meal of steamed brussels, pears and peas. Finished off with lemon juice, garlic and ginger, it wasn’t too bad. I wish I had left out the ginger. You win some, you lose some.

Today I can only eat raw fruit and veg with water and juices. Seriously, juicing is kind of fun. Making all the flavour combos makes you taste each individual ingredient. I have been really careful to make sure I get all the nutrient rich combos without it tasting like elephant bottom. Everyone knows how bad elephant butt tastes.

What I’ve eaten today: A juice of carrots, spinach, alfalfa sprouts and grapes. Handful each of grapes, celery and carrots.

What I wish I was eating: Hmm. A nice creamy soup. Maybe of the chowder variety. Crunchy Italian bread. Mmm.

 
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I am eating a bowl of about 10 raw button mushrooms.  I have already eaten 3 apples.  I am doing okay so far.  Hydrating is the name of the game and this game fucking SUCKS!!  But I am being careful and reading everything I can about juice fasting.  All I can do is stay focused and try and not eat the fridge.  The beautiful, beautiful fridge.  So strong and big and full.  Full of delicious things that are calling at me as I type.  But I am strong dammit.  STRONG. 

What I’ve eaten so far:  3 apples.  10 mushrooms. 

What I wish I was eating:  A roast beef and cheese sandwich.  Horseradish cream.  Wheat bread.  (sigh)

It is no surprise to me that the day I start this juice thang, Denny’s is giving away free food. “Hey there lady who can’t eat anything but fruit and veg, we are giving away pancakes and bacon!” It’s like they are giving me the finger. It hurts.

image by aNantaB

In a haze I see my hand going up and down, up and down.  My body is tired and weak, but I can’t stop.  My mouth is in constant motion, my jaw feels as though it will become unhinged.  I am starting to feel real pain.  My weapon of choice… tortilla chip. 

I have had a tummy ache for about a day and half.  The Superbowl turned me into some crazed cheese fueled loon.  We had about dozen people over for the big game and 3, count it 3, different cheese dips.  No doubt they were delicious: spinach and artichoke, queso and a cheesy jalapeno spread.  Now we had a lot of other food, but for some reason the cheese was calling to me.  The oh so sweet song of indigestion. 

I am now a useless lump on the couch.  But I am also a lump that just went shopping for a whole garden’s worth of fruit and veg.  The beau and I are starting a juice diet.  Tomorrow.  I feel excited, like I may poop my pants.  It could be from the cheese, but I am thinking it is anticipation.  Now I read a book on it, but a single book does not an expert make me.  But the beau has done this a few times, and the promise of shedding some weight has made me his minion… and sex slave.  But apparently while fasting you aren’t allowed to exert too much energy so… well we’ll see I suppose. 

I’m not going to push it.  Tomorrow starts the pre fast and I am going to take it easy peasy lemon sqeezey.  I’m not trying to damage something permanently, I just want to try it and be cleansed.  Doesn’t that sound nice?  Cleansed.  I won’t be cooking any meals for awhile, but I will be drinking food and not drinking booze.  Enjoy the ride, I will be posting the craziness.  Do you think my skin will turn orange from too much carrot juice?