Mar 13 2012

Starting the train. A very slow train.

I woke up this morning feeling better then I did yesterday. Yesterday, I had a nose full of snot and a cloudy brain. Today, I was a woman ready to move forward. This Saturday I am running my first 5K, on the biggest drinking day of the year. The St Paddy’s Day Dash happens to start in my hood, by Seattle Center. After a painful 6 months or so, I had been trying to run and work at running. I didn’t feel like I was accountable to anything, least of all myself. I signed up for the race and immediately felt better.

I am someone who does not choose working out over eating or drinking. Or sleeping. Or anything for that matter. It’s been… interesting. Fighting tooth and nail, I am at a point where I am ready to do the work for the big pay off. The Paddy’s Dash is just the beginning. I am officially registered for the Seattle Rock N Roll half marathon. Shit, I totally registered for a half marathon.

Tonight’s run is a great example of how truly confusing this whole thing is to me. I am finally able to run 5 miles straight. After 6-8 months, off and on running. Tonight I managed 4. Any beginner would feel great about even stepping on the treadmill. I cooled down, wiped off my machine and went looking for someone to punch. Huh?

Running is helping me work through a lot of emotions and meat product. Apparently, I don’t run long enough to work through all of it at once. I walked home through the nasty slush and felt ashamed. Why couldn’t I run further? Why am I so upset? What the fuck is my problem? I feel like a crazy person. FINE, crazier person.

Coincidentally, running and eating vegetarian have been two new things I have successfully been unsuccessful at. But tonight, I ate my salad grumpy while planning tomorrow’s workout. Slow like a slug, I am getting there.

Today I ran 4.35miles in 50:06min. No meat today. I did eat an extremely big handful of choco chips.

On my mind: The Galloway Method-Friend or Foe? Will I still feel good about all of this working out and eating right if I don’t start losing some serious weight? I dress like a slob at the gym. Is it hurting my self-esteem? I am going on some holidays soon. I want to work out while on these trips. Wishful thinking?

 

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1 Comment

  • By cari, March 13, 2012 @ 10:47 PM

    OK, I know I just tweeted at you, but SO EXCITED!

    Running can be such a little bitch. I still consider myself a beginner, even though I’ve been “running” for the past two years. It doesn’t get easier. You will have good days, and you will have terrible days. Unfortunately, the terrible days somehow always stand out more than the good ones. My cure: Remembering that I got my booty out the door and ran at all. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Well, cheesy pep talk and good music.

    And I 100-percent think dressing in nicer gym clothes has made me feel better when running. Call it narcissistic, but my lululemon wunder unders have been a life saver.

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