FoodiePop

There have been a few requests for the pork belly recipe I used that fateful night.  I loosely followed Gordon Ramsey’s pressed belly recipe.  Seeing as how we got the pork from an Asian market rather then a butcher, the piece wasn’t even on all sides.  Wonky, wonky.  Needless to say, pressing the pork belly became kind of impossible for me.  I tried weighing down the pork with every heavy can in the kitchen and it just got too ridonkulous.  Ugh. 

They say the belly shouldn’t sit on the bottom of the pan, so I used some carrots and celery to keep it lifted along with the head of garlic.  Don’t forget to convert the temp from Celsius to Farenheit.  The crispy skin is the best part, so let it sit in the oven for the last stage of cooking till it gets nice and crackly.  Some bubbles will pop up.  Pork rinds… yum.

I hope you like this as much as I did.  It is a fatty dish, but it’s pork belly, live a little.  I am working on doing some Asian dishes with pork belly.  Will keep you posted! 

Recipe from Gordon Ramsey’s the F Word.

Roasted pork belly over sauteed brussels sprouts slaw.  Didn’t get the skin as crispy as I wanted, but it was my first time.  Just have to keep on pluggin away!

So yesterday should have been an extremely productive day. It wasn’t. Instead of cleaning the basement and doing responsible things, Beau and I watched an entire season of Amazing Race. Right now they are on season 14, but a reality channel was doing a marathon of season 9. The show is great because I like watching the dysfunctional couples. The group dynamics and personalities is what makes reality television great.

Well one of the challenges on the show was when they were in Thailand. Each member of the team had to eat a big bowl of stir fried grasshoppers. I’ve eaten bugs, I think they are crunchy and fun. I am also the girl who as a toddler got a fly stuck between her teeth while out in my paddling pool. Now I like the fact that the show tries to teach you something about the culture of the country they are in. Grasshoppers were the added bonus. I like to think the food community as a whole are opening the door to our stomachs and closing the cultural gap one insect at a time. I mean, that was their challenge. Eat a food that thousands of people eat on a daily basis. They weren’t saying drink out of a toilet.

I have a point here, somewhere. I was thinking that mainstreaming what we eat and how we eat was the way to go. Now I think that the realism of what things are makes it that much cooler. I told someone I was making pork belly last week. They gave me a face and I just explained that that is what bacon is before they cure it. Then it was, “Ohhhhh. I love bacon.” They come from the same foundation, but they are two unique and separate foods. I like each for different reasons and would not replace one with the other. I suppose it is all about perception. It’s not that different to how we see other people. Some find me brash and rather strange. I drink a lot of whiskey and I think gossip sites are awesome. Scary movies are really scary to me. I’m from the UK and I live in the Midwest now. People look at me like I am a bowl of grasshoppers sometimes. But I would rather be myself then have to explain that I am just a version of something that makes people comfortable. I don’t want to mainstream myself. Call me pork belly, cause I haven’t been cured yet.

image by michaelwhays

I haven’t posted about anything because I have a bunch of excuses. But after watching the Top Chef finale, I feel I have to. I think the characters from this season were great. They were charming and weird and stubborn and did stupid shit and were peculiar looking. Like me! One of the best parts of the finale for me was having Richard Blais back. I read his blog on Bravo and think he is the cat’s pajamas. The food was what it was. Every finale Tom says cook us the best meal of your life. I’m sorry, raw fish is not on my list of things I want to have in the best meal of my life. Now I’m also not a trained chef and I really like Chef Boyardee. so take what you want from that. Stefan is a great villain, but watching him comfort a crying Carla melted my frozen heart. A little. Maybe when he grew in body weight, his heart got bigger as well. Like no one else saw how chub he got when they came back for the finale.

Why do they keep bringing back Rocco? Yuck. And his comment about how he is tired of eating foie gras, dude, not all of us are having it thrown at us for every meal. Is there a goose fairy granting food wishes all the time? Toby Young was back and I don’t think anyone cared. If they bring him back next season I am starting a petition, or writing some really nasty shit on the web. Listening to him has become painful. Gail was busting out the married cleavage and it was nice to have her back for the two part finale.

I feel like I should talk more about the food. Looking back it was Hosea’s challenge to win. He is a seafood chef and so much of the finale was based around those ingredients and cuisine of New Orleans. The surprise twist worked in his favour and he really did cook some really nice food. He payed homage to the region which I found really thoughtful. Carla, sigh. I wish she could have executed everything better, but she seemed to have accomplished the most that she could. She was a breath of fresh air in the world of reality tv. I miss her already. Stefan was… Stefan. He cooked well and was arrogant. Done and done.

I feel the show has lost it’s luster for me. The super product placement and Padma’s presence was enough nonsense to stifle a rhino. I hope the next season brings the laughs and skill. Farewell Top Chef, but hopefully farewell Toby and crappy cameos.

image by nicknbecka 

Last night’s episode was salvaged only by the super chic Eric Ripert who makes me giggle when he speaks.  And silver foxes are so yum.  Anderson Cooper (gay… sad), Richard Gere (sans gerbil), sugar daddy’s, French chefs (Ripert in the house!).  I did enjoy the fact that all the dishes were seafood, seeing as how I don’t cook or order fish dishes as much as I should. 

It seems as though the chefs are getting better and I appreciate them more as a whole.  Leah and Jaime were in the bottom two and it was no surprise, it’s just a shame they couldn’t eliminate two.  Jamie knocked all of Chef Ripert’s food the whole episode and although I think she is talented, give me a fucking break.  Top chef challenges are a means to an end, the finale where you can cook anything you want, it doesn’t matter if you like it.  Way to go, you got to go home and Eric Ripert and his “boring” food sent you there.  Leah… yuck, I just want her to leave.  She.  Is.  Boring.  And.  So.  Is.  Her.  Food.

Remember when you were in school and there was always a cool kids table?  They appeared to know so much and seemed to be so much cooler.  Apparently, someone  not only invited Toby Young, but is PAYING him to sit at the cool table.  Argh.  Regardless, the judges were the best part, I enjoyed seeing Tom C’s looks of disdain toward Toby.  Young is proving how ill suited he is to on the fly commentary, when he is so used to having editors proofread his past critiques.  When is Bravo going to realize the boo boo and shoo shoo him out of there?  They can throw Padma out with him, just for good measure.  That’s the episode I want to see, producers chasing Toby and Padma with whisks and knives out the door.

image by Arne Mueseler

I don’t know how it happened, but Fabio became my favorite chef last night.  I suppose it has been coming, I love foreign films, so why wouldn’t I love someone who is constantly needing to be subtitled?  He was on the bottom three last night and I almost shit a Vespa waiting to see if he would be eliminated.  I am the first to talk about the cooking on the show and how that should be the most important thing, but when you do a bullshit challenge like a Super Bowl cook off, my heart just isn’t into it.  Regardless, he overcooked his venison and should have been on the chopping block.  Then rewind to when he is on camera talking about being “a 30 year old sleeping in a bunky bed”.  I will never call them bunk beds again.  His mummy is sick and your heart stretched out a bit when he spoke of wanting to win to help pay her physician bills.  It’s like he opens his mouth and fucking puppies are flying out of it.  People like him are what make reality tv great.  You’ve never met anyone like him, but you want to.  He is a competitor, but it hasn’t turned him into the worst version of himself, can’t say the same for the rest of the cast.  Should Fabio not win, someone would be mad not to give him his own show or special.  I would tune in to watch him cook “a monkey arse with bananas in it”.  I don’t even know what he was talking about when he said that.  The subtitles were off.   

That was the highlight of the show for me, that and Carla winning those Super Bowl tics.  

Everything else was pretty meh.  They brought back “All Stars”.  (snort)  Head to head against the remnants of seasons past was pretty anti climatic.  I didn’t remember half of them, other then the ridiculously hyper Andrew and the annoying lad that wears all the hats, Spike.   

The guest judge, Scott Conant, was kind of a twat, but I liked that he had an opinion and stuck to it.  He wasn’t confined to the role of being a “guest” judge.  

I really don’t remember too much of Tom C.  I get more from him reading his blog then on the show. 

Padma was in a referee’s uniform, remember she is a vital member of the judge’s table.  I mean, someone has to keep the score.  It’s like dressing up the hooker before you fuck her in the butt.  

Toby has become, well… limp.  I’m glad he is turning to constructive criticism, but they sold him as some sharp tongued wit.  When is that going to happen?  He is into analogies, right?  Well, Toby Young was like taking a double dose of Viagra.  Just cause it’s hyped up, doesn’t mean it’s really effective at getting the job done, you can’t just stick it anywhere.   We know the medication works, but what happens when it wears off?  What’s left is just a pale, flaccid cock… with glasses.

image by stopmangohome

The great thing about cooking shows is getting commentary and info from amazing chefs and professionals.  What the hell is Padma Lakshmi doing on Top Chef?  Is she a chef?  No.  Is she a restaurateur?  No.  Was she in the movie Glitter with Mariah Cary?  Yes.

I understand wanting the host to be a beautiful woman, but to food-centric viewers, that sometimes isn’t enough.  I cringe every time she says something, because I know her opinion doesn’t mean shit to me.  I’ve commented on other blogs of my disdain for her and some think I’m nuts.  Well I’m not a dude and I don’t want to sleep with her.  Why is she a judge?  If she was merely the host I’d shut the fuck up.  But no, she gets to have a say and her say sucks.  The panel is full of people with culinary experience and she peddles I Love Padma t shirts for Bravo.  She is the only judge not to blog on the show on the Bravo site.  I guess dating old millionaires is fucking hard work.  She’s trying to earn a living I suppose. 

The woman has a cook book out.  “Easy Exotic: A Model’s Low-fat Recipes From Around The World”.  Awesome.  Is it just pages of doing coke in foreign countries?  What do models eat?  So when the Top Chef gravy train runs dry, can we expect her on the Food Network?  They seem to like giving shows to just about anyone lately.   

I’m watching Top Chef tonight, I keep hoping one night I’ll tune in and Bravo will have gotten a clue.  I just have to repeat it one more time.  She was in the movie Glitter with Mariah Carey.  Yikes.

 
image by Mykl Roventine 

No surprise here, Leah and Hosea hooked up!  Oh wait, I’m talking about a cooking show, right?  The producers at Top Chef  should get the cocks out of their mouths and see what they are doing to the fans of this show.  I barely remember any cooking.  The Cheaters Who Will Never Prosper were all over the screen. 

Everyone is upset at the duo for throwing Ariane under the bus.  They have no other choice but to take solice in one another’s arms.  Yuck, blow me.  I did laugh when Hosea saw the camera and shoved Leah’s head away.  The episode became about how the hook up threw them off their game, well don’t be a skank!  Repent on your own time, I wanna see some good food.  I can’t wait to see Leah in a spread in Maxim, “Ladies of the Night-time Reality TV”. 

Why is it when someone does one dish well, they get suckered into doing it again, just to fall flat? (i.e., Ariane and the lamb)  Carla took a ride on the pastry bus and I think she kind of lost it at judge’s table.  I love her spirit, but first should come the food.  She didn’t try to blame anyone, but instead brought out her alter ego Ms.  Sassafrass.  She was mouthy and practically yelling her responses.  No doubt a product of her nervousness.  I have to admit, yogurt soup, yeah… not so much. 

Toby Young was pretty quiet with the mouth junk.  He made one metaphor and all you had to do was look at Tom’s face to see what an idiot he thinks he is.  I wish Young would just be a smart guy who knows about food rather then a pompous guy who thinks he’s a Hollywood star.  You were a contestant on a reality cooking show as well you twat!!  He slowly loses my respect when he won’t own to being himself versus what he thinks he is.  Just take a look at his blog.  Holy ego Batman.

I’m less excited each week to watch the show.  The food is not that great and neither are the plot lines.  Rhadika was sent home and I didn’t even care.  Usually I am gutted by each dismissal.  Why don’t they just can this season and name Toby Young the winner.  He wouldn’t mind.

image by bbaunach

I just posted about the new show Chopped that premiered last night.  Blech.  What I am really wondering is what is going on with the programming?  I can tune in any time of day and have no clue half of the shows they are plugging.  Who are these people?  Okay, I know who some of them are, but why do they have their own show?  I would like to think we, the viewer, have some sort of voice in what we are subjected to on air.  

Ann Burrell.  She is Mario Batali’s sous chef on Iron Chef America.  She looks like a goofy Cabbage Patch Doll… that can make pasta dough.  Seriously, Secrets of a Restaurant Chef?  I don’t want to know their secrets.  I want them to cook good food.  Period. 

Now Sunny Anderson already annoys me.  No one is that peppy.  Leave being cute for puppies and little kids.  They do a much better job.  Cooking for Real?  Versus what?  Conjuring food out of a cauldron with Harry Potter?  Lame. 

I know there are so many more shows that I can’t even begin to think about.  Big Daddy’s House is already making me record every show on Food Network just so I can fast forward through the advertisements.  Next Food Network Star needs to work on creating a star… other then Guy Fieri (the network’s work horse), the winners that have kind of sucked.  For experts, they are expertly stinking up that network. 

Bring back the good stuff!!  I loved Alton’s Feasting On Waves although it was just a short mini series.  Thank God for Good Eatsor there would be nothing worthwhile on primetime for them.  I would love for them to revive Good Eats, I know it had a long run, but some new ones might be just the thing given Alton Brown’s huge following.

I will say Ultimate Recipe Showdownis pretty rad.  The man who won the burger episode was a legally blind, retired plastic surgeon.  I love it!!!!  Once again hosted by Guy Fieri.  Does that man see his family?  Or are they all robots?

What are some other shows you would like to see more/less of?  If I have to watch the Neely’s practically mount one another on screen one more time, I’m going on strike.

image by Neeta Lind

Where the hell did my show go?  I am an avid fan of Top Chef, but after the bullshit they aired last night it makes me wonder, why are the producers ruining the show?

I don’t give a shit if Hosea and Leah like one another.  I don’t care if Stefan digs lesbians.  Fabio and Stefan, albeit a very cute couple, do not make me tune in.  Does this nonsense make the show fun?  Yes.  But when frivolous personal relationships start affecting who gets thrown off, it chaps my bottom. 

I understand that Ariane messed up, she butchered the meat (pardon the pun) and couldn’t tie a roast for shit.  At least she cooked something.  If I had to choose between someone who messed up what they cooked versus someone who played googly eyes the whole time and then didn’t seem the give a shit for not cooking, my vote goes for the prior.  It’s called Top Chef, not Top of Any Guy For Screen Time.  Love the scenes for next week where Leah and Hosea finally hook up and completely negate why the hell they are in that house.  Good job douchebags!!  Oh yeah Hosea, nice “I love Padma” t shirt.  Good to see you love every woman BUT your girlfriend.  Double douche for that one, buddy.   

Toby Young, you are walking a fine line with me.  ”Full blown, unprotected sex”?  Well you seem to have full blown diarrhea of the mouth.  That’s how you talk about meat?  Take a tantric class and leave that shit in the bedroom.  Just because you are thinking it, doesn’t make it either witty or right.  And having Padma stand up to you and you have to tattle on her to Tom, “Well didn’t you say Tom, that we had to judge their food from today…”  She is the genital wart of this show and you are now on her level.  How is that for unprotected?

I get that strong personalities make good tv, but what about the right ones?  People who do their best and stay positive and true, regardless of the nonsense around them.  Carla is someone whose food I would want to eat.  Just listening to her and how she feels about everything she does and feel makes you want to root for her, her spunky quirk works for me.  And Tom’s opinion is still the one that I hear, even though it is muffled by a sexually oppressed Brit and a no talent wannabe-a-chef.  Yes, you Padma.   

What could have been a really informative show on the connection between us and the food we eat became some form of crap I would see on MTV.  I barely remember the dishes!  Less yammering and more cooking.  Shame on Bravo for taking what was a show about cooking and turning it into slutty bitches who cook, or don’t in this case.

image by viZZZual.com 

So I was super excited about watching the premiere of Chopped last night.  I’ve got my glass of wine and am snuggling with my beau when he says it, “I think this show is going to suck”.  Of course I got a little defensive, I was all set to love this show.  Cooking competition, mystery ingredients, guest judges and the adorable Ted Allen were set to make a delish little stew of a show.  Um, afraid not. 

By the end of Ted Allen’s intro I was too depressed to finish my wine.  He sounded like a nerdy Robocop, you could watch his eyes reading the prompter.  Not a good start.  The only geek host I want to see is Alton Brown on Iron Chef America, Ted needs to realize that.   AND they kept pimping his Food Detectives during the break.  A second season?  Did people watch the first?  Seriously, I wanna know!   The guest judges were okay, but I would expect to see the same panel at a food festival, not on network tv.  Don’t remember a one of them except Alexandra Guarnaschelli, whose show I have yet to watch, I’m not even sure if it’s aired.  I’ve seen her compete in FoodNetwork challenges and I fear you’re not missin’ much there either. 

The contestants were boring, with the exception of the Texan chef who was the oldest contestant and quite sweet. (old, southern and gay is a great combo if I’ve ever seen one)  He ended up winning.  The others were a vegan chef, the “rock and roll” chef (he had long hair and sideburns, he looked like a tool), and the pastry chef.  I don’t remember their names and how could you be expected to?  Three 30 minute rounds (starter, entree, dessert) and a basket of secret ingredients for each one was enough to keep you occupied.  The premise could have been executed really well had it not been like Amateur Night at the Apollo for cooking.  Yeah, yeah I’m sure these chefs are really great and sweet and whatever other bullshit people can come up with, but when it comes down to it, it was a pitiful display of culinary prowess.  

I vaguely remember the rock and roll chef from the episode of Top Chef where they are judged by the New York chefs who didn’t make it.   He was one of those saying he could do it better.  Dude, you couldn’t even hack a one shot show.  Leave Top Chef for people who have skills or at least personality. 

Each round someone got chopped and I was glad to see them go.  Picking the best dish was like picking the prettiest dandelion out of the weeds.  The winner received $10,000 and he barely broke a sweat.  I’m gonna keep watching though, maybe it’ll get better? (snort)  I have to hope that FoodNetwork isn’t stinking the pits THIS bad.

One thing I did get out of the show was a good night’s sleep.  That show was a fucking snooze fest.

Update: Just caught part of the Top Chef marathon and the rock and roll tool WAS on the show. He was all dressed up to go and make a fool of himself on television. He made the very gracious comment that he thought the food sounded like crap. Hope you found a cure for your foot in mouth disease.