I am not going to lie, eating better has not helped my mood. Stressing about meals. hoping they aren’t too boring. By boring, I mean filled with at least 12 ingredients and 2 hours cooking time. I am a sadist and apparently I cannot do anything the easy way. In my last post, I talked about how much the book Eating Animals changed my outlook on food. Outlook is still changed, but now there is guilt. About everything. Fear not, it is not constantly, it just pops in every once in a while. We live in a society that affords us the luxury of making choices about what we put in our bodies. Yet, it is hard to make that decision. Maybe it is economic, organic always comes with a heftier price tag. Convenience is a nasty one as well. Sometimes you just don’t have any time. I have a friend, who I will not name, that is so busy there are undiscovered strains of bacteria growing in her fridge. She has her heart in the right place, but if you aren’t home, how the hell are you supposed to cook all of this expensive organic mess?

Since I read that damn book, we have been trying to eat at least half of our meals vegetarian. We aren’t going gluten free, Jesus one thing at a time! We feel better, C comments on a regular basis how much better he feels. I guess I see what he is saying. Although, nothing feels better to me then being weighed down by pork. The food we are eating IS better, the minute you eliminate meat, the calories come down. I have some tips and recipes on the way. We are also ordering our fruit and veg online. We just signed up for New Roots. It’s a local delivery service that brings you a bin of randomness once every two weeks. (Or every week if you are a rabbit) I am kind of excited to try things I have never cooked with. I also like getting presents, especially if it is food. So what if I am paying for the present! I won’t know what’s in there!

Needless to say, just read the book.  It is up to you to have your own reaction.  Maybe only chronic over reactors like myself woudl feel implied to change.  I will say, regardless of any inconvenience changing our eating habits has had, it does feel good to be sticking it to the man.  Take that Tyson!  In yo face Smithfield!  You are only invited into my fridge 50% of the time.  Mindless shit talking is over.

I have been reading an eye opening book, Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.  It has been keeping me up at night.  Seriously, I cannot stop thinking about this book.  Foer himself is a veggie eater, but he isn’t trying to convince you that eating meat is wrong, he just makes you feel like a heartless asshole.  The book is full of facts about the factory farming and its impact on our health and our planet.  It has been changing my life these past few days.  I can’t read it in one sitting, I feel ashamed.  Now I am not a book critic or even a very good book reader.  This book is making me feel differently about food then I ever did before. 

C and I are major meat eaters, it is not a complete meal if I have not eaten some form of animal.  I have been known to pick out entrees because of their meat to whatever side they are giving me ratio.  So reading this paperback has been hard on me.  Because I don’t know where to draw the line.  Foer gathers perspective from poultry farmers to PETA members to vegetarian meat suppliers.  I am eating pork sausage while I type this because I don’t know what is going on in my brain and I am feeling a sense of hoarding/panic.  I ate a salad before this, so shut up.  I don’t think, and pardon the pun, I could give up the meat cold turkey.  I am shaking my head because that sounded so cheesy.  I know for a fact C had teryaki for lunch.

So do we find a farmer that will raise animals and slaughter them in the nicest way possible?  Or is the allure of $5 whole chicken too great?  I will end up knawing on C’s ankle if we try to go vegetarian to soon, I need to be weaned.  (A-yo!  Another farming reference!)  Read this book, borrow it from me.  Get it from the library.  Learn anything you can about the impact that factory farming has on disease and pollution.  I think animal rights activists turn some people off because they seem to value animal life higher then human life.  Listen, when you are an organization that threatens the family members of a chef that cooks goose liver, you are an asshole.  Yes, animals are suffering and it is cruel.  Good on you to be a voice for them.  But another side is the impact it has on our own health.  The factory farms that are so deep in pig shit, they are polluting wherever and whenever they can.  Why not?  They have the money to pay a silly fine.  Strains of virus that are bred in the cramped pens of factory farmed animals.

I’m not sure where our stance is on any of this, maybe I will lose interest in a few weeks.  We will go back to eating anything we want.  It’s not just about animal cruelty.  Not just about disease control.  The ridiculous amount of pollution and carbon emissions.  And the list can actually go on and on.But I wanted to put it out there, just in case I am a stronger and better person then I think I am.  This way C and I can look back and remember when we took a stand for something that was really a bunch of somethings that saved our lives.

I’m sure I will change my mind on this a million times in the next few days.  I just needed to get this out there.  Thanks for writing this book Mr. Foer.  To be continued…  

p.s.  I get it if this seems like a bunch of nonsense.  But please forward this to anyone you think might wanna know more.  I will be back with more info.  The title link will direct you to a website with excerpts or just visit the website http://eatinganimals.com/

I am a bad little blogger, but I can be better. As soon as things settle down a little bit, I have a laundry list of things I know I want to talk about. But right now, there is one thing I have on my mind. Change. Beau is selling his house and I am hoping that someone out there is dreaming about a huge house in our neighborhood. Every day I read online or the news tells me about the market improving or not, up and down, my brain is scrambled eggs. Now I live in said house with him and I am a team player and I have made it priority number one to get the casa staged and Pottery Barned. We live in 2000 sq ft with the minimum amount of furniture, needless to say I have been purchasing a lot of wall art and bullshit such as that. I am at Pier One at least 4 times a week. Home Depot is… I can’t believe how much I’ve been to that store.

When I say that it is crazy, tiling the laundry room and organizing each room is just the surface. This year has been about a lot of change, new president and the crumbling economy is making all of us think about a new direction. I am ready for change and moving and starting a new life together is just the start of that. I have been working on a book and the writing has been exciting and frustrating all at once. Spring is here, at least in my mind, and I wanted to convey that even if things are hectic right now, there is much to look forward to. Take the positive in your life and make it a springboard to bigger and better things. I have been letting stress make me it’s bitch and I’m no one’s bitch. I guess I needed to get that out. For those few that actually read this, there is good stuffs to come. I’m ready.

It has been rather gloomy here in Minnesota.  It would normally not bother me, but I have been needing some sunshine and hope. This doom and gloom bullshit is killing me. That being said, I am reading a new book. The Foie Gras Wars How A 5,000-Year-Old Delicacy Inspired The World’s Fiercest Food Fight by Mark Caro. Not the most pleasant reading so far. The animal rights activists are giving me nightmares. Beware. 

I am guilty of not reading as much I would like and what I was reading was pretty craptastic literature. I am engrossed in this book. There will be a pretty lengthy review once I am done, which should be done in a few days. What I will say is that it is turning out to be some enlightening stuff. My mind is on foie gras overload.

So now I have fowl on the brain. I spoke earlier about having purchased some cool proteins at the local Asian market. One of those was quail. Now I am trying to decide a way to prepare them that doesn’t me to require some sort of Michelin chef inspired skill. I wanna go simple and really taste this bird. I implore you wise food and non food readers: What would you do?

Sigh. I love Paddy’s Day. L. O. V. E. So while Beau and I were celebrating at midnight last night, we got to thinking about when we met. At an Irish pub. Drinking Powers Irish whiskey. Now for those of you who like whiskey, Powers is the only way to go. Sooooo good. It is actually cheaper then Jameson for those of us that are feeling the economic crunch. I have been known to drink half a bottle on Sunday Fundays.

So Beau’s father came over for dinner last night and brought over the family leprechaun. It is so cheesy cute. They have an Irish surname, so why wouldn’t they have a tiny matriarch? Wherever you are, go and let your hair down. I am going to drink until I’m green. That sounded kind of bad.

image by aussiegall

Tuesday night was our official Valentine’s night. We had been on our fast during the actual date. It didn’t feel like Valentine’s though, but that was more then okay. We have tried to have date nights and had it end in disaster. It got me thinking how glad I was to be without the pressure of a holiday or special occasion that night. It made it that much sweeter.

Dinner at a Russian place, Moscow On The Hill, was filled with flavoured vodkas and yummy starters. Lovely chicken liver pate, beef perogies and borscht was not nearly enough food to two people. I drank too much. We left dinner, if you can call drinks dinner, and made our way to the Fleetwood Mac show. So after stopping for another quick drink we had a date with destiny. Well I did anyway, I love Stevie Nicks.

The show was great, we had great seats and I screamed like a Japanese tween when I saw Stevie. Screamed. Right in beau’s face. It sobered him up a bit I think. I grabbed some more drinks and somehow a woman in the queue bought me a shot of tequila. That was the beginning of the end for me. I made it through as much of the show as I could and then realised I needed to go home.

When I woke up the next day I was hungover, but it felt welcome because of the great night we had. I wish I had taken photos, just to remember all the fun of Tuesday night. This is my post Valentine’s post and I just want to report, it doesn’t matter what day of the year it is. Grab someone you care about and go and have some fun.  You deserve it.

 image by Rhys Jones Photography

Yesterday was no me gusta, no me gusta indeed. I had decided to eat the rest of my delicious cheeseburger with no longer crispy chips. Apparently breathing and eating are two things I can’t do at the same time. I almost choked to death on my lunch. Alone. I had to run into the couch to get the stuff out of my throat, after which I threw up on the floor. I cleaned my mess and then I finished the rest of the burger. It still tasted pretty good.

While recovering I decided to start taping one of the spare rooms we are painting. Yeah… that didn’t work out to well either. I am 5’1″. I need a step stool. But falling off of the step stool was not in the cards. I was done. I curled up and died a little on the couch.

Later that night Beau was sweet enough to take me out for some cheer me up drinks. Woo I am a cheap date now!! I can usually put away close to a dozen in a night. I made it to 3 before I felt like I was going to up chuck. It was nice to be out and I was strong enough to not order any bar food. This girl likes her bar food.

I woke up this morning feeling different. I had a bitchin headache, but I was in a great mood. Then I went to get a snack and I am now laid up with a sprained knee. I tripped and stumbled down the stairs. I need rubber soles on my feet. Happy Friday and stay safe.

image by ewen and donabel

My dreams have finally come true. Last night I ate a cheeseburger, okay a half of one. With chips though! Beau and I went to the Lion’s Tap in our hood because the web told me too. Apparently they were ranked high for best burger in the Twin Cities. And they were right, damn they were right. It was everything I thought it would be. (sigh) Regardless, the healthy eating has not stopped. I have been cooking with a vengeance. I have a bunch of pics and recipes to post, so when I can pull my shit together I will do so. For some reason I have been falling into shit and choking on leftovers. Today is a dangerous day for some reason. I am going to go play in a padded room.

Changing your lifestyle is not something to be taken lightly.  When I met the Beau, I was a crazy drinker and could drink him under the table like the sissy he was.  Now our tolerances have met in the middle and I still fall down for no reason, drunk or not.  I changed that part of my life to make room for him and also because no human being wants to cuddle a gal who smells like whiskey… a lot.  Cooking has seen a similar change.  I found myself making things I knew he liked and making a lot of it.  We had gotten into a rut and I’m glad we are starting fresh.  That having been said, vegetarians and vegans seem to go to great lengths to maintain their lifestyles.  I have spent countless hours perusing blogs for recipes and these people are serious.  They have a substitute for everything and seem to be fueled by the conviction of their dietary habits.  It’s kind of inspiring.  Kind of.

I haven’t decided how all of this new exposure to food has changed me.  I dream about cheeseburgers on a daily basis.

image by msmornington

So I have seen the different TMI Thursdays on different blogs most notably the very fun LiLu. So I never have anything to share that I wouldn’t cringe posting… until today. Muah ah ah!!!

I have been doing this damn juice fast for a week or so and one of the things that was recommended was regular butt cleaning. Not the baby wipe sort of cleaning, I’m talking about colonic/enema, butt hole invasion cleaning. God, Beau is going to be so mortified that I am sharing this. Now I was excited to get my first colonic, they are good for detox and it gets all the gunk that builds up out of your colon.

So arriving to the colonic therapist’s office, I was stoked. When my name was called I was ushered into a room, so I got undressed and robed up for my very nice hydro therapist, Katie. To get started she rubbed olive oil on my no no area. The last thing I would use olive oil for and I will be seeing that bottle in a whole different way. So she inserts the tube and in my over zealous nature I ask her, “Is it in far enough?” (face palm) She laughed and said no one had ever asked her that before. Well, duh she had never cleansed a lady of my caliber and grace.

Getting your colon cleansed, you really want to see what comes out of there. My eyes were glued to the machine and let out a little cheer when Katie told me I had released a Milk Dud. (giggle) Now leading up to the fast I had been pooping rabbit pellets and I thought they were the cutest version of poop one could ask for, but those damn Milk Duds ended up being the ban of my existence during my colonic. Part of the colonic is flushing in with water and then flushing out the water, but there was a problem with my flushing out. The rabbit poops were blocking the tube and wouldn’ come out! Katie pulled the tube out of my arse and I hightailed it to the toilet to release said pellets. I felt a lot better when I got back and we started the process all over again. For about 2 minutes. Until I had more poop blockage. Katie informed me that dairy hardens your poop and the water just couldn’t break it down. ARGH! So Tube once again came out and I ran to the toilet again. I was crimson, but Katie assured me there was nothing to be embarrassed about… until the third poop barricade. My hydro therapist told me I officially broke the record for most stops during a procedure.

I’m not een going to tell you about the evacuation that happened the third time. I was visibly shaken and traumatized when done. And also a pound lighter. Seriously I weighed my self. So I returned to the room and she was packing up. She had had enough and probably needed a drink. After I got dressed and asked her if I could request her again. She said I didn’t have to. I don’t think she likes overachievers with fat colons.